Left Right n Center!!!

Every where I look all I can see is people getting engaged/married/celebrating anniversaries/ getting pregnant left right n center.....  n I know tht I'm being cynical but I HATE it.

HATE...ya I know its a pretty strong emotion but I do feel it along with a couple of other negative emotions - fear, despair, self doubt to name a few. I just can't believe I'm one of the last few people from my school, junior college, under grad college n MBA school, who still hasn't settled down!!!!!!!!

Its not tht I am cynical aways or I don't njoy my life at the moment but I aways feel tht I want more n tht I DESERVE more. 

Just looking at all those happy pictures on Facebook n Orkut makes me wish tht these were my profiles (sigh!!!!!!). I've had it with just being happy for others (for most parts i AM genuinely happy)...but i want to give others a chance to feel that for me too. 

All I have in the name of love n relationship are 2-3 mistakes. 

1st one with my classmate in MBA. It didn't even last for 2 months before we started fighting like cats n dogs n after one n a half yr of crying everyday over it, it was finally over . 

2nd a 3 week fling with a guy who got serious while I was getting over my ex. I wonder whether he was really into me or just about liked tht the touhy feely thing tht happens with new couples. 

I'm now on to my 3rd mistake - having long, heartfelt, late night phone chatting sessions with an old but strongest crush of my life. The conversations hv started moving towards something short of phone sex. No mistake here some one wud say but before I get carried away I should mention one thing ------ he's MARRIED  ..........I'm doomed :( 

I don't mean to be bitter n end up alone. I want to be happy. I want someone to wake me up every day, hold my hand while crossing roads, get wet in the rains with me, try cooking with me in the kitchen. Some one on whose shoulders I can cry when I return home after a bad day in office. Some one who cud give me flowers n tell me tht I look pretty. One with whom I can watch thestars at night n watch horror movies. One who is as happy to be with me as much I am being with him. Some who I can consult while picking up a dress, kitchen appliances, gifts, on how much to tip etc. Some one who I can plan my old age with. Is this asking too much?

 GOD r u listening ??????

~Soni~

 

Is it Right??????????

I admit i'm creatively challenged....but i'm not sure whether changing name of one's blog frequently is bad.

I do feel a bit guilty though....as evry other blogger i too want people to read my posts, comment n in the process encourage me. So in an effort to do tht i try to find a name tht's funny, catchy yet which reflects me. Now i do realize tht if smeone wud revisit my blog after the first instance it wud purely b based on the fact tht how much my life's trivia amazes thm....still

So far i'v managed to come up with Virgin diaries, Hope n Dreams  n the latest Mad Mad Mili. Let me explain the reasons for change. 

1.  Virgin diaries : this title had to do with the fact tht i'm a virgin in the sense tht i still hv to discover a lot in this journey called life. Changed bcoz whn one fine day i decided to google my blog's name, i found tht my blog was nowhere to be found n top of tht it threw at my face links of semi - porn sites .... too bad 

       

moving  on 

2. Hope n Dreams : these two words describe how i deal with life's dramas. Changed because it sounded more like opening to some kind of heavy duty sermon.  

n the latest n i think the last in the series 

3. Mad Mad Mili : till now my best effort. it tells every one tht i'm MAD n tht the posts tht follow will prove my point.

I think i'll stick with this. Wt say...

~Soni~